When you're 5 years old and you're busy singing into your hairbrush, you never stop to think what grown-up life will look like as a musician. I've learned that it doesn't look like the 5 bedroom/3 bath house with a finished basement and a pool table that you grew up with. It looks more like living in a hallway with people constantly walking past your bed to get to their room, or spending 6 months in an old motel in a town that doesn't even have a grocery store. It looks like turning down good paying day-jobs for less paying day-jobs, because there's more flexibility to work on your music. It looks like a lot of things that don't make sense and the cost, literally and figuratively, is, at times, overwhelming.
And that last sentence pretty much captures how I've felt while house-hunting with Billy, my fiancé. (for all the romantics, proposal story can be found here).
It's one thing to just take care of yourself as a musician- living in the hallway doesn't sound as bad. But it's another thing to be married and live in the hallway-that sounds terrible! Also, add the fact that your fiancé plays drums and you teach music lessons, so there's no way you can have shared walls with other people, which cancels out anything possibly affordable (i.e. apartments, duplexes, and town homes). Then, add on location costs to being close to one of the fastest growing, and newly popular, cities (thank you, Nashville TV show). After you add it all up, you're left with a mind-numbing puzzle: no money, but need a house that's subsequently unaffordable. And yeah...we're still scratching our heads on this one too.
It seems like there's no winning. We could live super far away, but then all our money and time would go to commuting. We could live in the ghetto, but then the mothers of my music students probably wouldn't want to drop their kids off...so finding the happy medium is the goal.
House hunting has made me do some thinking, and when I start thinking, you never know where the analogy will lead! For now, let's turn our attention to cats: Music sometimes seems like the cat that doesn't love you as much as you love him. You spend so much time cuddling him, feeding him, bathing him, but he seems like he's just not that into you. Sometimes he purrs and looks like he's gonna cuddle you- and then he's really just sniffing you for food. But, you still have high hopes that one day he'll see the light, and see how worth it you are.
The cat who's just not that into me
My hopes are that music begins to love me more than my cat does, so that maybe one day I can have a place to live. But until that day happens, I'll keep house hunting...and keep feeding my cat.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy. But sometimes, I think I know exactly what I'm doing.